I just ate the worst can of smoked oysters ever. I usually like smoked oysters and I usually don’t eat a whole can (especially when they taste sub par) though that is more out of a lack of opportunity than any form of self-restraint on my part. But this evening I ate a whole can of what were definitely not prime smoked oysters.
Now I am left to wonder if they were sub-prime (like yo mortgage sucka) due to a production error (they might have been over smoked or maybe whatever sterilization/pasteurization procedure they used was overdone) or if the oysters were or became bad at some point. I will post tomorrow if I am alive. Hopefully the wine I have been into earlier and that which I intend to be into later tonight – God willing – will kill any pathogens that I may have been exposed to.
I do have one thing going for me. In all the cases that I have been informed about food poisoning tends to take people by surprise. Few people tend to tell doctors: “Hey! I know exactly what made me sick – those crappy oysters I ate!”
With my luck I will enable the discovery of some form of Ascarid worm – new to science. To give you an idea of how awful ascarid worms are to treat, the human variety are big and tough and while the antihelminthics drugs do remove them they are generally passed live and angry, unlike other parasitic worm infections which just go gently into that good night. Hopefully they have discovered some new method of killing the worms faster than the system can pass them but I have not heard of it. And an infection by the ascarid worm which raccoons carry, Baylisascaris spp, is typified by the young worms getting lost on their way to the lungs (part of the typical ascarid life cycle) and ending up in a human’s brain. If you have kids, never let raccoons poop in your yard. Ever!
And always evaluate what you are eating before you eat a whole can of it.